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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Evil Green chili peppers


Damn! My mouth hasn't  burned like that in years!!

It all started out innocently enough- you know it always does. You make plans to go out to dinner with friends. Tonight it was Thai.

You order something you can't pronounce. Something along the lines of phong pong tong phint phat (not the right spelling btw). And the waiter asks how spicy you'd like that. 

Forgetting that the Thai have an insane ability to eat things that would sear the flesh off of lesser beings, you say "medium," and continue with the evening.

Once the food arrives, you dig in...ooh, that's a spicy dish! But it's good. And even though your lips are tingling a little bit, you can still savor all the flavors from your dish.

And then, it happens. You accidentally bite into an  innocent looking piece of green pepper, but don't let it fool you! That thing is bent on destruction!  All of a sudden, the burning starts! Oh! Make it stop!!!  

But it doesn't. Noooooo....it's only the beginning!! It feels like some little devil with a blowtorch is inside your mouth searing every piece of flesh it finds-including your throat. Quickly, you reach for the Thai tea and drink a bit. 
Ahh...that's better...but only for a second. 

The burning starts again after the coolness abates!! They say that milk/dairy helps calm the fire, but I think they lied. Because all you can do at this point is gasp and say, "owowowowowwoswowowow!!!!" You try some plain rice-hoping that it will absorb some of the burning. Nope. It doesn't.  Apparently, nothing can save you now.

You now sit and wait. The tea is gone.  You know water won't help at all. And the rice was just plain useless.  The burning continues. You imagine layers of your mouth are being peeled away as the pepper does its job. You sit in pain, blinking, waiting for it to abate while everyone at the table looks at you, somewhat worried at the look of pain on your face. 

Slowly, finally, it doesn't burn as much anymore. The fire dies down, leaving your mouth tender (you don't realize but it will still be a bit tender tomorrow as well...)

Once you can talk again, your friend at the other end of the table says, "Hey, can I try that?"