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Saturday, June 11, 2016

on getting older...

This week I completed another rotation around the sun. The numbers keep getting higher, which is both a good and bad thing.
Good, because, well, it's better than the alternative.
Bad, because, well, the passing of time takes a toll on the body.
Creaky knees, achy joints, other medical inconveniences.
I suppose I'm lucky- mine aren't all that bad.  I can still walk, I can still move around on my own, and the other medical inconveniences are manageable-nothing life threatening or seriously life altering.
So, it occurs to me that these are the years I should be having a mid-life crisis, and I now understand where that comes from.
When you're younger, you're so busy trying to make it, and you have all this energy to expend that your main drive is going out there and doing! By the time you get to your "mid years," that energy is no longer quite what it used to be. And it makes you think. Combine that with the health issues, even if minor, and then you start to think.
Like Winnie the Pooh thinking... Think. Think. Think.
And you start to look at your life and decide what you want to change, because you realize you no longer have as much time as you used to. Or maybe, you just get tired of going along with expectations of what you're supposed to be doing.
But I've never been one to quite do what I'm supposed to do... so, no, I didn't get married, have the kids, get the steady job that pays the bills but never quite satisfied my soul. Nope. Didn't do that.
As a bona fide Gen-Xer, I think I absorbed the lessons early that you can't really depend on that-that somehow you have to make your own way. But I'm still figuring out the how. That's the tricky bit.
So, maybe the mid-life "crisis" that is so cliche' isn't really about a crisis at all, but rather trying to figure out what is going to make you happy. For some, it's about rebelling against everything your life has been up to that point, but that's a bit like shooting yourself in the foot because you don't like your shoes!
I say, keep the foot, change the shoes!

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