La Vida Claudia

Wishing you...

2011-12-25T11:13:00.000-05:00

It has begun...

2011-11-10T10:53:00.000-05:00

Yes, the yearly influx of those escaping the cold, snowy winters has begun. The signs are there...more traffic, more out of state plates. I remember when I was a kid, my sister and I would occasionally play "spot the Florida license plate" during winter. Yes, it was that rare to actually spot a real FL plate.

Normally, the season (as it's called...Florida has two main seasons-hurricane season and tourist season. However, only tourist season is called "the season" as that is the time that Florida businesses depend on to make money...) goes into full swing after hurricane season ends on Nov 30th. This year, apparently, the season has started early thanks to the freak snow that hit up North in October. People that normally wait until December to come down have decided, "Screw that! I don't want to get stuck in another snowstorm. I am OUTTA here!"

Can't say I blame them, but oh, man, if the recent experiences I've had are any indication, it's going to be a veeryyyy looooooong winter.

Well....uh, YEAH...

2011-09-09T22:53:00.000-04:00

Got home tonight, opened the fridge and...uh, yeah, mostly empty. Bare shelves glared at me, accusingly, for neglecting them. So...dragged myself out to Publix (our local supermarket...oh Publix, how I missed you when I didn't leave nearby...now I also miss Trader Joe's...is there a way that these two could possibly exist within the same metro area??? I digress...)

At Publix, I realized that I have wonderful conversations with myself as I wander up and down the aisles. "hmmm...do I really need that? No. Well maybe. No, not really, but what the hell..." "oooh, yes, almost forgot about this!" "I wonder if they still carry....oh, yes, there it is..."

I've always loved grocery shopping for this reason-I sort of get lost up and down the aisles, looking at this and that, time means nothing and life slows to the moment, as I look at the various products, even if I walk out with less than 10 items...

Anyways, at the checkout, I picked a line, any line, and stood there. Waiting. And waiting. Two guys ahead had two carts full. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed this, picked another line, and been gone way before they were finished...as it is, I was busy in my own little world, and started reading the tabloids and magazines covers. And I saw this...

And it dawned on me why all my relationships have failed in the past! I didn't get married! DUH!! Of course! You see, it all makes sense now. When things started to go downhill, instead of parting ways, we should have gotten married. Because we all know that that would have saved the relationship! I mean, how silly of me not to have seen this before.
Losing interest in your partner? Get married!
Is he losing interest in you? Marriage is the answer!
Not enough in common? No problem...just get married!
He's cheating on you? Get him to marry you and he will forevermore be faithful!
He's bossy and inflexible? No worries...Marry him and the relationship will work!
He stresses you out so much you're about to get an ulcer? Just get married and live happily ever after!

Ah, yes, the mystery is solved. Here I had been thinking that marriage added layers of complexity to a relationship, when all along, I had it wrong. Marriage solves everything.

Random thoughts...

2011-04-24T00:23:00.000-04:00

--I finally tried out the boogie board I bought last year at the local dive/surf shop. Not bad, but even as I was fighting the waves, trying to stay on the thing and actually catch some waves, I couldn't help but think that boogie boarding is a poor substitute for surfing. So the next thing is to rent a board, try out a couple different ones just to get started. And then possibly save up for my own. I think I mentioned surfing about 3-4 years ago. Maybe this time I'll do it.

--Was at the grocery store, minding my own business, when I hear from the cart in front of me, "But I want it!!!! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNN." Seriously, this child actually said, "wahn." She must've been about 5-6 years old, throwing a temper tantrum like a two year old. I gave her a dirty look, she looked right back at me, completely dry eyes, and continued her tirade with mom, who caved within 30 seconds. Seriously. All this child had to do was whine a bit. I told her mom, "that's what you're teaching her." And then I asked, "she always wins, doesn't she?" She said, "yeah, she always wins..."

--It's now late...I probably could have written more earlier, but now I've had some of my friend's amazing ribs and I need to clean up before I head to bed. So, good night everyone. And happy easter mañana!

To Everyone

2011-03-16T23:23:00.001-04:00

New Job

2011-03-15T23:51:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, almost a month, really, I answered an ad I saw online for a photographer that needed a p/t studio manager. Being one of those online ads, it did not list the photographer so I sent in my information with a bit of reservation and very low expectations. I mean, I'd answered ads like this before and the usual response was no response. Nothing. Not even a No Thank You or FU email. Nothing. Without a contact person, it's like sending your information out into a void with no idea if it's a legitimate request or what. But, when I saw the ad, I thought to myself, "Ah, what the hell...I'll give it a shot."

And whaddayaknow!! About a week later, I actually got a callback! And an interview! And a job!! Yes, I got the job! We really hit it off and chatted the entire interview, almost as if we already knew each other and were just catching up.

So far it's been great. It's my second week and I have a ton of things to do and learn and we work together, hopping from one thing to the next, then back again, and getting things done. I can say, without a doubt, I am so happy to be working with her. I love her work and also the fact that she combines commercial photography and fine art. She has been working as a photographer for over 20 years and still loves what she does and continues to explore and experiment, expanding her creativity. I go into work excited about the day, thinking and planning about what needs to get done or what we need to work on and how can I help to make it happen. I love it.

Antique Car Show

2011-03-14T22:15:00.000-04:00

I went to an antique car show and got some amazing detail shots. If you want, head over to the photo blog and check them out.

I don't know much about cars, but they were beautiful. Amazing. Pieces of art, really.

Spring is springing

2011-03-12T19:56:00.000-05:00

And it's time to spring ahead!! I love this time of year. When I lived in Baltimore, and the days were lengthening, the ice and snow melting, the first buds and flowers peeking, it certainly was more pronounced than here in Florida. However, even here, blooms are blooming (genius, no?), birds are singing, and the days are surely getting longer. I love it!

Wind and Rain

2011-03-01T23:25:00.000-05:00

I love the sound of the wind and rain outside the window.

Critters

2011-02-26T11:23:00.000-05:00

Reading Little Miss Moi's blog today, she reminded me of something I've grown used to from years of living in Florida-the critters, namely cockroaches, spiders and ants. This was one thing that I did not miss when I lived elsewhere and it was the one thing that was difficult to get re-acclimated to when I moved back. Have you ever had a cockroach dive-bomb your head? Well, I have (only once but that was more than enough, thank you very much). And let me tell you, no matter how used to seeing cockroaches I am, having one dive bomb me will send me running and screaming like a little girl and give me the heebie-jeebies for at least a few hours (you know that feeling-when you can practically feel the bugs crawling on you even though they're not? Ugh.)

Of course, these are not the only critters here in Florida. We've got....lizards, bigger lizards (those that have the curly tails), iguanas (non-native but they are here), gators, snakes, mosquitoes, birds, birds and more birds (really love the egrets and herons, but the hawks and osprey are amazing too), raccoons, opossum, armadillos and the list goes on. As with any ecosystem, the bigger animals eat the smaller ones, even though I had never really seen anything eat a cockroach-at least until one day.

I have my bicycle in the garage and was getting ready to go for a ride, so I opened the garage door (we have the old, manual lift-it-up-yourself-no-garage-door-opener-for-you type.) As I did so, a small cockroach that had been hiding in the little space underneath the door was suddenly surprised to find itself exposed and it started to scurry to find a new place. Well, I certainly didn't want it coming inside, so I shushed it out the door and out on to the driveway. (I could have just killed it but I don't like killing things unless absolutely necessary and I figure as long as it is outside the house and not in, I am good with that.)

So, the cockroach races out and just stops in the middle of the driveway, probably hoping that if it just stays still, then it will be ok. As it did so, I noticed one of the large curly tail lizards that hangs out near the front of the house start running towards it. The lizard stopped about halfway and looked at me, sizing me up. I said, "Well, go ahead." And with a little twist of its head, it zoned in on the target and raced on. It got to the roach and CRUNCH just scooped it up with one bite. It was a big bite with cockroach wings sticking out of its mouth but that wasn't a problem for this lizard. Chew chew chew as it started to race back to its station near the front of the house. And that was the end of that cockroach. I'd never seen anything like that before and I have got to admit, it was pretty cool to see nature at work.

Here is one of the lizards hanging out in front of the house.

Review and moving forward

2011-02-07T00:49:00.000-05:00

I've spent the last few days reviewing my blog and deleting things that were no longer relevant (like those posts with youtube videos that are no longer online) and/or needed editing. It was interesting re-reading through the three some years from when I started this blog to moving back to Florida and noticing some recurrent themes that have actually reinforced my decision to be here in Florida, like needing sun/warmth and complaining about cold and gray to missing my family and Florida.

Although I knew that I missed Florida, it wasn't until I re-read the old posts that it hit me just how bad that was-wishing I were back, wishing I could just quit and move back home, counting down the days until I could come back. I guess, like most things while you're going through them, I sucked it up and (somewhat) convinced myself that it wasn't too bad, but my old posts show me differently. I was really homesick!

But now? Now I'm back! And, 1.5 years later, I still wake up in the mornings grateful to be here. It's almost hard to describe. I remember reading Heidi as a kid, and her joy when she returns to the mountains after being in the city. That's about how I feel. Overflowing joy and happiness at being back. Still. And while things are not exactly rosy at this point on the job front, I'm ok with that. I do get discouraged and down at times, but I'd rather be here with the possibility of improving my situation than somewhere else, possibly working more, but feeling that empty hole eating me from the inside out.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I feel almost as if I need to find a new direction for this blog. Or just start fresh? Oh, the choices. In the meantime, I have started a new photoblog (c-photoblog.blogspot.com) and will phase out the kaleidoscope. I've got a few more ideas floating around, but I don't even know what I'm going to do next.

Re-vamping

2011-01-31T15:28:00.000-05:00

Have you ever gone back to the beginning and re-read what you've posted over the time you've been blogging?

I just started re-reading my old posts, with the intention of "cleaning" up things that really don't need to be on this blog anymore (if they ever really belonged in there to start with!) I started this blog back in 2006 when I moved out to California with the goal of writing about my life as things happened, so that my friends could keep up with me, and my new life in CA.

As school went on and I became more accustomed to my life out there, I blogged less. Then, after I graduated and moved back home to Florida, I definitely blogged a lot less (If I've posted more than once a month since then, ooh, I've been ambitious!) And I've been questioning if I even want to keep this blog.

At least until today. As I started to re-read my old posts, it brought me back to the reason I started blogging in the first place-as a way to share things going on in my life, but to do it in a way that is at least somewhat entertaining.

I have not always accomplished that. So I realize that I do need to clean it up a bit. It's almost like an old garden; it has some great stuff in it, but over the years, through my own laziness and self-indulgence, it has become shoddy and is in need of a good weeding and pruning to keep it nice.

Stay tuned for more.

all over again

2011-01-07T23:02:00.000-05:00

Less than two years ago I graduated with a third degree.

Less than two years later and I'm back in school.

Yes, that is correct. Back in school. Again. What can I say, I'm addicted. Actually, this time, I'm not going for another degree, but rather a certificate. In teaching. Yes, that is correct. Teaching.

I admit that I fought it. I had quite a few people suggest it to me, some rather strongly too, and I always said, "No." (Very strongly too.)

At least until I met a lovely, smart young lady getting ready to graduate high-school, who told me that she hated her photo class. She hadn't thought she was going to dislike it until after she started it and it was a little too late to change. With a full scholarship in hand, she was upset that she was getting a B (so this was not someone that just wanted to skate by...) She felt that she hadn't gotten enough direction in the class. I started asking basics, "did you learn about aperture? f/stop? what about depth of field?" Most answers were negative or "We got a handout." And that's when it hit me that, yes, I should probably teach it.

I think I've been incredibly lucky all the way through to have had some fantastic photography teachers. And maybe, just maybe, when I start teaching, I can continue to inspire the way that they inspired me.

2010-12-31T09:36:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

Clearing out

2010-09-10T13:58:00.000-04:00

Last week, I made an appointment to get my hair cut. I arrived on time, and the hairdresser, D, proceeded to put my hair into pigtails. She asked one last time, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Yes.

The scissors started. Snip. Snip. And with a few more (ok, quite a few) snips, my thick, wavy long hair was gone. I had just enough to be able to donate it to Locks of Love (the minimum donation is 10 inches.) It's been something I've wanted to do for a while, but there were a few issues, one of which was that my hair, although long, hadn't been long enough to be able to donate before this.

The other issue, and a bit more sticky, happened to be that I liked my long hair. I identified with it. It was part of me and who I was. Left to its own, it was wild. Big. Poofy as I called it. But it was mine and represented me. Even if I had it tied up most of the time (esp. as hot as it is right now down here in S. Florida.) And I was going to get it all chopped off?

I reasoned a bit. It grows back. It'll be healthy as it grows. It'll be a nice change. It's going for a good cause (this was the main reason). But emotionally, I was still attached, even though I had made the decision and wasn't going to back out.

After the hairdresser finished cutting, she warned me before I looked in the mirror, "It's not going to look good yet." I barely heard her. I was busy shaking my head, amazed that I could actually feel the hair move! Wow! This is great!! So, over the next 15-20 minutes, she cleaned it up, giving it some shape and style as I sat there grinning. It felt good. And when she was done, she turned me around and hey! It looked good too.

I left the salon with cute sassy short hair and a back with two ponytails of long wavy auburn hair ready to be shipped off to Locks of Love. Next door to the salon is an arts café and I ran into the owner. We talked for a bit about what's been going on and, on a whim, I asked her, "Hey, do you need any books? I have two bagfuls at home that have just been sitting waiting for me to get rid of them and I just can't bring myself to take them to the used bookstore."

"Ohmigosh! YES! I'm starting a little library here and that would be perfect!"

So, a few days later, I finally purchased envelopes big enough to fit all my old hair so I could finally send it. And I loaded the two bags of books into the car.

My first stop, the post office.

Second stop. Arts Café.

And today, I've been going through my oh-so-messy room and starting to get organized. I've got a pile of stuff I've been hanging on to that is now headed to the recycling bin. I've got a small pile of clothes to donate. And a bit of garbage that is no longer going to be cluttering my room. It's as if getting my hair cut somehow triggered something in me to go ahead and get rid of other things. Things I don't need that, for whatever reason, I'd been hanging onto. And the best part is that some of the stuff that had sentimental meaning, I've been able to pass on to people that can use and appreciate. Now, that feels good.

Retrospective

2010-08-15T11:56:00.000-04:00

I've started a little project, just a teeny little one. I'm going through my hard drive and organizing all my images. ALL. The dupes and triples and, hell, I might even be in the quad zone if not higher on some of them.

A while back I decided to consolidate all my files on one big external drive. Because I'd realized that I had files here and there, some on this drive, some on that one, some the desktop, some in files on the computer somewhere. As you can imagine, this is not a good way to store photos. You need a system. Doesn't matter what system you prefer as long as it's consistent and you know how to find your pics. Also, it's important not to have those multiples taking up precious space, like yours truly.

So my little project has started. I'm consolidating everything into one big folder. Thank god for Adobe Bridge, which allows files with the same name to peacefully co-exist in one folder by automatically adding the multiple numbers on the end of the file. Auto-resolve feature. I love it.

Anyways, I wasn't as completely, hopelessly disorganized as I'd thought because I actually had most of the images organized by date. This doesn't mean I could easily find things because, really, can you remember the random shot you took on an average day 4 years ago? I can't.

So, I've been traveling back in time, sort of, as I go back through the years and move things around. And you know, it's been interesting. I suppose that's one reason I love taking pictures-it's a record of what's happening at the time.

Seeing these images that I'd completely forgotten about, I'm transported back. And it gives me a new perspective-for example, without seeing the images, I might think back and remember that things were tough, money was tight, my apartment was small, etc. And then I see the images and remember painting my old apartment, and how cute it looked. Or I find pictures of my nephew that I had no idea I had taken, back when he had his brand new teeth. Just random things. And it makes me smile, because those pictures bring back good memories.

Maybe I'll someday get around to posting some of them, but who knows? In the meantime, I've got to get back to work.

Oh Blah Dee....

2010-08-12T21:27:00.000-04:00

Ooh, looks like blogger has stepped up their game and come up with some fancy new backgrounds/templates. I like it.
Who knows?
This might just lure me back to blogging about more nonsense. Hmm...it's a thought.
We'll see.
In the meantime, tonight is the Perseid meteor shower. I'd love to be somewhere in the desert with very little light pollution, but uh, I'm not. I'm in Florida. On the coast. Which equals city lights. Or suburban lights. Take your pick. Either way, darkness eludes. But the meteor shower is on tonight!

UPDATE: Well, I saw maybe a total of 8 meteors over two nights. Le sigh. Two of them were amazing though!!! Big fireballs across the sky type of amazing. Maybe I'll have to plan a trip to the mountains next year so I can see some more! :)

Celebrate today...

2010-06-08T18:39:00.000-04:00

feel good song of the day....

2010-04-10T09:38:00.001-04:00

Amazing how far we've come with video, though!!!

some reminders for driving in south florida...

2010-02-21T22:53:00.000-05:00

1. Don't forget your earphones. God forbid you actually hear anything going on outside the car.

2. Don't use your blinker. You don't want someone else on the road to know what you're planning. That gives them the advantage. Better to just switch lanes and surprise them. If you'd like, put your blinker on when you're already 3/4 in the other lane...after all, it's just good manners.

3. If you're on a motorcycle, forget about a helmet. You're in Florida, the sunshine state! You want to feel the wind through your hair, you rebel you. And if you get in an accident and your brains get strewn across the road, it's a minor price to pay for freedom. Ditto for other protective gear and respective body parts. Hawaiian shirts and cotton shorts are way coooler!

4. Speaking of motorcycles, if you're in a car and you find yourself behind someone on a motorcycle, make sure that you get as close as you can without actually making physical contact. This is a gentle reminder to get out of your way, the road is yours because, well, it just is. And those rules about maintaining a certain distance for safety? Rubbish. Obviously, motorcycles are not cars; the rules don't apply. Quite frankly, those folks on motorcycles just shouldn't be in your way.

5. Last, but not least, if you drive a muscle or prestige car that you probably bought to compensate for other, ahem, shortcomings, make sure you zoom ahead of others, cut them off and then brake so at least you're not speeding too much. What is important here is that others respect your authori-tay and that you are ahead, even if it's less than a car length at the next red light.

a few changes...

2010-02-04T23:53:00.000-05:00

I was looking through some of my links and I think it's about time to update/eliminate. The globbing world (as swampy would say) is not static-bloggers come and they go. Some blogs remain inactive (yes, I'm guilty to a certain degree!) and others no longer are accessible. So why keep these around?

I think this will be an approach I need to incorporate more into my own life-are things still serving a purpose? Are they a part of my life? Or am I hanging on to them out of habit, fear or just plain laziness? If so, then I need to let those things go. This can only allow space for other things-whether tangible or intangible to enter.

2010-01-10T11:21:00.001-05:00

Oh bumbling bees!!! It's freakin' cold!!! I know, I shouldn't complain considering the rest of the country (ok, and most of Europe as well) is dealing with snow and ice and all sorts of nasty complications from it, but still! It froze last night. Again. We've had over a week of this type of mischievousness from ol' frosty blowing us some Arctic kisses and quite frankly, I've had just 'bout enough.

Now, it's not like we never get cold temperatures here, but normally, they don't last but maybe a day or two at a time. Back in 1989, we had a nasty freeze. It was the first I remember really well. We'd had days that there was frost on the ground but usually by 8am it was gone. For me, it was cool! It was new. And it was over as fast as it happened! Many people protected their plants by turning the sprinklers on overnight. They'd then shut the water off once the sun was up because they figured that the freezing was done. Well, that day, everyone shut their water off not realizing the temperatures were still freezing. I ventured out with my little 110 camera at 10 am wearing three layers of tee shirts and a jacket. I think I also had a hat on? I don't know for sure except I don't remember every being so damned cold but I had to get the pictures of the thick icicles that hung from the poor neighbors' plants. It was amazing. By noon, everything had thawed and I'm sure I still have the negatives stashed away somewhere. But that lasted one day.

One.

This time. Not so much. We've had temps in the 30s for the past few nights. It snowed in parts of Florida. We would have gotten snow if there had been enough moisture in the air. I moved back here for the heat. What a cruel joke. I mean, really! How am I supposed to gloat that I live in South Florida where on a typical New Year's day we can go to the beach when, instead, I'm holed up shivering because the wind chill outside is in the 20s? It's outrageous! I think I need to move to Hawaii.

2009-12-31T11:37:00.001-05:00

Wishing everyone a fabulous 2010!

Happy New Year!

Parks and Rec

2009-12-11T18:42:00.000-05:00

Finally! I tried posting these earlier but, geez, haven't been blogging for so long that poor blogger didn't know what to make of it-I could almost hear it, "what??? not only are you posting but you're putting pictures up??? What the hell?" as the spinning wheel continued on and on.

Anyways, as I said, I visited G. up in the northern half of the state, and we took a few minutes to pop in for a little nature fix at Rainbow Springs.

At the top of the hill, you can see the river down below.
Yes, it's really that clear turquoise!

Moving on, here we can see downriver.

Here we were a bit closer and the elephant ears make a nice contrast.

A white egret takes in some sun while looking for some food.

As you wander through the park, you find these little spots of ....green!

Overhead, the spanish moss.....

And down in the water, moss covered rocks.

We had just about 1/2 hour to visit so we took a quick walk and that was that, but next time I'm up there, I think we need to make a day of it!

2009-12-01T10:08:00.001-05:00

ah, nothing like going to visit my best friend G. and also get to catch up with old and new friends as well! More to come later...

Escape

2009-11-04T00:57:00.001-05:00

Years ago, when I still lived in Baltimore, I had a chance to go back and visit the ol' homestate of Florida. In fact, I got to go back to Tampa and visit old friends again. My friend G. took me to a concert in St. Pete-she'd gone to school with the lead singer and here they were playing locally! Cool.

As many singers do, he told a few stories about this and that. I remember in particular his story of an Offspring song that started with "La-la-lalala" (btw-if anyone can remember what the name of that song was, please tell me because I know it but right now I can't effing remember anything except for the La-la-lalala part. And now I'm starting to doubt whether it's even the Offspring. Is it? I think so. How the hell could I forget which song the lala comes from?) and how he would sing that to himself anytime he was upset about something. In his head, he would just sing "La-la-lalala" over and over and it would help him get over it.

At the time, we all laughed because how fun (and funny) is that? Little did I know that man passed on a gem. I actually put it to use very soon afterwards. In fact, I used it on the flight back to Baltimore. You see, as we took off (and everything was cool), I leaned back into my seat, enjoying the takeoff, tired after a good weekend visiting people I actually liked. There was a bit of turbulence, but hell, this is Florida and a few clouds are no big deal. Until the flash of light that is. And the deafening thunderclap that shook the airplane. And the exploding lights on board. Yeah, not too cool. We flew on for a bit, everyone on board wondering, "WTF just happened?"

The pilot's calm voice projected over the speakers..."Ladies and gentlemen. It seems that we've been struck by lightning. (gee! ya think?) We've run some preliminary tests and everything seems to be running normally. Although we could keep on flying, we'd rather not take any chances so we're turning around and heading back to the airport."

Of course, once we landed, they found that they needed to find us another plane (here, let me check my pockets really quick. And where the hell is captain caveman when you need him to pull out an extra plane out of his pocket?) because the one we'd been on was no longer suitable to fly. Lovely. So, we all stood around for a couple of hours while the airline snagged us another airplane to take us happily home.

As we boarded the next plane and I settled into my new seat, everything that had just happened and the possible implications washed over me and I found myself less than calm (not that anybody nearby would have been able to tell, but inside I was freaking the F* out.) And all of a sudden, a little voice in my head started "La-la-lalala. La-la-lalala, La-la-lalalaLa-la-lalala."

And you know? It worked! It did help me calm down. I wasn't totally cool yet so then I started trying to take deep long breaths. Because that is supposed to calm you down, right? Right. Well, it's hard to calm down when your breath refuses to be long and deep and, instead, insists on short and shallow. Hyperventilation anyone? Yeah, that's all I needed right then.

That's when the image popped into my head. I closed my eyes. A lovely tropical island, a few palm trees and sandy beach in the middle of a clear turquoise ocean. And these little waves washing up on shore-slowly building up and then swooshing down and up on the sand. And I started breathing with the waves. Inhaling as the wave slowly built up, and exhaling as it swooshed down and up on the sand, until the next wave started. The image in my mind is close to the one below (different angle, slightly bigger waves but I think you get it, yes?) And it was the perfect mental escape for me then.

The rest of the flight went off without a hitch, but I still remember the song and island. Even today, I find myself sometimes singing "La-la-lalala" to myself and then going to my tropical island and breathing with the waves. I now pass it on. If it works for you in any way, great. After all, couldn't we all use a little escape now and then?

*

2009-11-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

Did you all remember to change your clocks? Yep, it's that time of year once again. Though the extra hour of sleep is nice, I prefer springing forward, when the days are getting longer and summer is near. Falling back is, well, just that-falling back. Back into short days. Less daylight. Darkness. Can you tell I'm less than thrilled with this arrangement? Even so, it doesn't change the way things are. Daylight Saving Time is over for this year. So, if you haven't done so yet, set your clocks back one hour. Until March 14 next year.

playing around with HDR photo in B&W

2009-09-20T10:23:00.000-04:00

I took these photos on my way back home to Florida. After three years in Cali with many days of cloudless skies, I'm now partially obsessed with clouds-they add a certain flair to images and it's never the same thing twice. I'm also playing with some HDR (high dynamic range) photography-I'm probably doing it wrong but what the hell, I like it. Enjoy.

Slacking? Maybe, maybe not

2009-08-24T23:06:00.000-04:00

Well...I've not been posting much at all lately. Apart from looking stuff up on youtube, I've been retreating from cyberland because, fact is, I just haven't felt like putting my energy towards that direction. There are other things to be done, ideas and projects to think about and develop, not to mention just getting off my big fat behind and away from the computer to enjoy life a bit.

The good news is that I've actually got some work right now, which is great! I'm actually working! In my field! And learning as I go along. It's temporary (freelance) and I've got to keep searching the horizon for more after this one is done. That sort of goes with the territory. I've got a few leads and we'll see where things go.

I'll be around, just much less frequently.

Back Home

2009-07-08T08:04:00.000-04:00

Three years, 6,000+ miles from just the trip alone and many stories later, I'm back in Florida.

I arrived yesterday afternoon and I'm getting settled in. The trip will require some re-telling, but for now, I have a ton of things to get done as I sort through all the stuff I've brought with me.

Here's a little clip from the late and great George Carlin talking about stuff. Enjoy.

Dream I hope doesn't come true

2009-06-27T12:03:00.000-04:00

I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.

M. C. Escher

In the dream, I was somewhere (you know how dreams are-you find yourself somewhere that in real life you have no clue but in the dream it's totally normal that you find yourself in this strange place) and I got out of the car to go and look around. I walked on this little path and came to a beachy area. I saw a photographer doing some testing and measuring. It wasn't a big production, he might have been a student fulfilling an assignment, working alone. Smiling to myself, remembering what that was like, I kept walking.

As I got closer to the water, I looked around. We were at a flat beachy area, but further down, there was almost a cliff-like area and there, I saw people practicing yoga. The sun was shining on them but the black storm clouds behind them really made the scene-contrasting with the sun and their colorful clothes. I ran back to my car to grab my camera and tripod-could't find my camera, or the battery was dead or something weird like that. AAAACK!! Eventually, I got a camera (don't ask, I have no idea how but somehow I got a camera) and grabbed the tripod and ran back to the spot.

That's when I noticed the tripod head was missing. ARGH!! (why I didn't just shoot it hand-held, I don't know, but apparently that wasn't the point of the dream, was it?)

When eventually I got set up to take the picture, I set it all up and the sun was overpowering those storm clouds-my contrast was gone. Sigh. Let down. As soon as I put my camera away, the light changed again and it was what it needed to be. oh, frustrating. It was almost as if it were teasing me (bastard.)

I don't remember whether I ever got the shot or not, what really stuck with me was everything going wrong and that feeling of losing the moment. Grrrr. Who knows, maybe it's a warning for my road trip-make sure everything is ready!

2009-06-24T04:59:00.000-04:00

Well, I am done!

I graduated. What a great day. Really, I don't think I've been so....giddy in quite a while. I know there is so much more to come, so much hard work, but at least it's a move forward from where I am now.

Next step-pack up and move. Oh boy. I have shipped my books back and I have a load of things yet to be shipped. sigh. Well, at least I have a few days to get it done, even though I look at the calendar and think, What?? It's the 24th already? Yikes!

tick tock

2009-06-02T02:41:00.001-04:00

The countdown continues and I'm starting to feel a slight panic at how much needs to get done. I'm not one to live sparsely (even though it is a sort of fantasy for me)-I dragged a bunch of crapola with me to California, and I've managed to accumulate a lot more in my three years here even with the "try to get rid of things" phases.

Damn.

I have a lot of crap. And less than three weeks to get most of it eliminated, shipped or ready to go. I'm going to try and travel lightly this time (excuse me while I choke the laughter back! Oh, that's a good one!) Seriously, my plan is to travel with cat, camera equipment and clothes. Oh, the three c's. Can I do it? Oh, yes! and some camping equipment-I will camp if possible. So, those are my 4 Cs of travel. However, I do plan on drugging the cat this time-just a mild sedative to keep her calm.

Now, I'm sure some people would be a bit against that, and I myself am not a big fan of doing that to my cat, but have you ever had to travel with a cat that gets motion sickness? I mean, really. Can you imagine--you've been on the road for an hour with a cat bitching in the backseat because she's really not happy to be there. Meeeeooooow! Meow. Meeoow. meow? Meow. Meow.Meow MEEEEooooOOOw. meow? MEOW!

For an hour.

Non-stop.

And then, all of a sudden, the tone changes to a low repetition...mrooow. mrooow. mrooooow. The tone is different. You know something's not right. Very soon, you either hear it or smell it. And let me tell you, I think I'd rather get skunked than have to be around the smell of a cat that's been sick.

And the poor cat! She has nowhere to go. She's stuck in her carrier (even though I made sure to get her a roomy carrier, it's still a box in which she's stuck. No escape.) And if you're really unlucky, she gets it all over herself. So, comes the next part. You pull to some gas station or rest stop to try and clean up the cat and her carrier because you know that there is no.way.in.hell that you are driving for days having to smell that nasty rotten odor.

So, you're inside the bathroom, trying to wrangle this miserable pukey/shitty kitty to the faucet that won't stay on-you know the kind, you push it and it runs for 5 seconds so you have to try and push it again so it can run for another 5 seconds. And you're doing this while the cat is trying to get away and you're trying to get rid of as much crud as you can and the stupid faucet keep stopping just you finally get the cat managed. The crud is caked all over her normally soft fur and no matter how hard you try not to, you end up getting it all over yourself as well. Ah, the joys. So now both you and the cat reek to high heaven.

And you will reek. Believe you me, they could make secret weapons out of what comes out of that cat.

So, you clean up as best as you can and then, you go to dry off and either the hand towel dispenser is empty, or it has those nasty brown, scratchy, don't-absorb-worth-a-crap ones that you wonder who came up with that idea..."yeah, let's use paper like tree bark for the bathrooms. I mean, trees absorb water, right? Right! So these must of course absorb water as well!" Never mind that tree is dead and bark doesn't really absorb much water at all.

Sounds like a fun trip, doesn't it? Yeah, I think so as well, which the whole point of my drugging my cat for the road trip. I've never done it to her, but I'd like to imagine...(cue the harps...)

I load kitty in the car. She looks up at me, blinks a couple of time, then proceeds to ignore me in all her cat-titude. She yawns and snuggles down for a nice nap. And I drive and drive, with the kitty just nice and calm in the back. No bitching. No puking. No shit! Wow. Could it really happen? I'd love to see that. I think both her and I would be happier in this situation.

Can you believe it's been three years? I started this blog when I moved out here. Now it's time to go back. Part of me is already wistful about the things that I know I'll miss, like the farmer's market. (I went today. Ah, the smells and sights. It's great. And pretty much non-existent where I live back in Florida.) Mountains. Driving on the 101 and seeing the ocean right there. The easy access to all things photographic that we have here. The cool people I have met. I'll miss the smaller roads and cute houses. The flowers and the smell of fields that you get when you drive outside the city. The different marine life that exists here. Yes, lots of things and there is so much more I have not explored.

But, at the same time, I'm also ready to go home. I'm tired, and I need a break. I look forward to spending time with my family and my friends. I think a mango daquiri night is very much called for. I look forward to the warm beaches and blue waters. Good Cuban food. Warm nights with the smell of the ocean permeating the air. Hearing the calypso music and steel drums from casino cruise ship when it returns every night (yes, it's totally kitschy and tacky, but it's very Florida.)

Three more weeks. Dayum!

Of wheels and such

2009-05-28T11:36:00.000-04:00

So, I've had my car for nearly three years now. I drove it cross-country; I've made it carry loads of equipment, made it take me to Sedona, LA, here and there around town. I've even gotten "tapped" by a big-rig, and have two small indentations in my bumper from it (good thing he was going only 5 miles an hour!) And recently, I've subjected it to a windy dirt road to get to the top of the mountain. In the nearly three years, I've put about 45,000 miles on it-not as much as some people, but still a bit more than is considered average (even though I suppose that average really depends on where you live. Example-New York-even if you own a car, I'd say you probably drive it a fraction of someone living in LA where everything is miles apart and the highway system is one of clotted arteries because everybody drives everywhere.)

In return, I've taken it in for regular services, getting the oil changed and following the dealerships recommended services when needed. It hasn't been too bad. Until now. At my last oil change, I was informed that it's time I consider getting new tires and new brakes. Mmmm.

That's a lot of money. The tires will cost more than the brakes. But both are needed and not something to skimp on, especially before I head back to Florida. I've started to shop prices and so far, it actually looks like the dealership has the best deal for me on the brakes. But tires? There are so many different places to get tires and so many different brands.

Now, of course, when I go to talk to people about my tires, the guys are usually surprised that I have a clue about maintaining my air pressure (because of course I'm a girl and I figure the tires stay inflated magically!) I check it regularly. I make sure it's where it's supposed to be. Why? Because I know that low air pressure can wear my tires out faster and also decreases my MPG (and I'd much rather get as much out of a tank of gas as I can!) I've been doing that since I was about 16 or 17.

I do realize that there are a ton of things I don't know about cars, but tire pressure is one thing I've gotten a handle on. However, when it came to my tires, I've been scratching my head a bit trying to figure out why I need new tires before 50k. That's a first for me. I've never had to replace my tires so quickly. It didn't make much sense to me, but I figured it was one of those things. I thought hmm, maybe the cross country drive in the middle of the summer put more wear on them than usual, or something like that-one of those things of which I wasn't aware but has worn my tires away a bit faster than normal.

Well, yesterday, I finally got my answer!! Who knew! You see, I finally saw where Costco has their tire service. I wandered in to find out whether they had my tires or not. The guy told me about the tires that they do have and was able to rattle off my tire size from the top of his head. Wow! Leave me impressed. (and no, I'm not being sarcastic there-I am seriously impressed that he knew the size tire my car takes without having to look it up.) But when I told him the brand I have on there, he shook his head and looked at with that sad look (the "oh-you-have-no-clue" look.) So, of course, I proceeded to pick his brain for that knowledge.

He actually said the tires on my car are softer and softer means a softer ride and faster wearing away. You see the dealership wants the best possible ride for the car when they try to sell it-so the tires are a bit softer. He told me to look on my tires and find the treadwear number.

Treadwear number? Huh? Basically it's a number used to indicate how fast the tires will wear-the higher the number, the longer they last. (I did a bit of research when I got home and the treadwear is based on 100 being the average. So, if a tire is rated at 200-it should last twice as long as the average. However, the disclaimer was that treadwear is determined by the manufacturer so different brands have different systems of rating etc. The conclusion was that treadwear isn't a reliable factor because it does differ from brand to brand. But as far as I'm concerned, it's still something to take into consideration. I doubt that it varies enough to really eliminate it as a factor. Moving on....)

The tires he showed me had a treadwear number of 500 and 600 respectively (two different brands.) The one with the 500 treadwear is more in my price range and has a 60,000 mile warranty-and costs about the same as the tires I currently have. He showed me where to find this number on my own tires. When I went back to the car, I was appalled! My current treadwear # was only 320. And they cost just as much as the ones with a 500 treadwear.

Dude. That sucks.

However, now I know I can get better tires for about the same price. And I learned something new. That makes me happy.

Wow

2009-05-26T11:38:00.000-04:00

In less than a month I graduate. One of the tasks we're given for graduation is to compile a few images that will be shown during the actual ceremony. We have to pick two images and then a self-portrait for this. Then, we have to select five more images for the commencement reception.

I'm finding this a difficult task-summing up three years' work in a few select images. I have shots that I did back when I started that I love. I would say I've compiled a nice amount of work-I hadn't even realized it until I started searching for images.

And now I have to choose.

Hm.

Conundrum. I have different pieces that are different styles that I love. It's difficult to narrow it down. I realize now though, how much I do have! Wow. And I realize I need to put it all together in one folder so I can actually see how much I have done!! Right now, they are broken up into this folder and that one, some here, some there. It's quite confusing. Yet, I still have to pick. hm. The nice thing is that I can look back and see everything I have done!

2009-05-21T14:29:00.001-04:00

As I left the house yesterday, late as usual, I saw all sort of possible photo ops, yet I had to keep driving on towards my destination. It was a bit frustrating, but at the same time, a bit inspiring in the daily mix of things. I tell myself that I'll bring my camera next time, that I'll make time to just drive around and stop when I see something that catches my eye. I keep saying it.

Musica!

2009-05-11T23:32:00.000-04:00

What I did last night

2009-05-09T15:03:00.000-04:00

Last night, day whatever-it-was of the fire, I headed out to get some shots. Not being a total idiot (just partial, it comes and goes), I was not about to go anywhere that I would 1. get hurt (although I confess that if I had access to get through the barricades to the frontlines I would so have been there) or 2. get in anyone's way that either needed to get to the fire to help or get away from the fire. So this meant I had to find somewhere with a good vantage point but not really close. Good thing there are still hills around here that aren't on fire.

I found a spot up in Summerland looking across the valley to the fires. I wasn't the only one. Cars lined the streets and people were lined up along the fence watching. People came and went. I'm particularly amused by those trying to snap pictures with their flash. Yeah, 'cause that will work. I digress. I was there for close to an hour and then, I noticed that the air was getting cooler. Damper. What was happening? And the fire seemed to be disappearing.

Now, it would have been wonderful that were the case but it wasn't. Instead, the next best thing to it started to happen (uhm...rain would have been even better but let's be realistic here). The marine layer quickly moved in. Visibility disappeared but it brought in much needed moisture and cooler temps. It must have dropped between 10-15 degrees. I never thought I would be glad to see the marine layer, but after days of fire, smoke, people being evacuated, having classes cancelled (another first, I never thought I'd be ticked that classes were cancelled), and knowing houses were burning, the mist rolling in from the ocean was insanely wonderful.

So, here are my results from last night. I did a great time-lapse of the fire burning but wouldn't you know it? Blogger will not load it. I tried. And tried. And the little pisser just won't load. Nevermind that the max size allowed is 100MB and mine is a mere fraction of that at 4. But noooo.... So, here are some stills....

Let's start with the fire.
This is looking across the valley to the blazing hills

Now, let's zoom in a bit. I am still a bit in awe that we could see these so clearly.

And, to give you some perspective-I zoomed in on the photo above.
This gives you a good idea of what hell it must be up there.

Even though I've seen pictures from fires before, I've never actually seen one from this close (even though I was miles away.) Since being here, every fire we've had has been behind the ridge. None have been this close or this visible from town. It's both amazing and terrible.

After the mist rolled in, visibility across the valley disappeared. I drove into town. And it was wonderful. One thing about Santa Barbara and these little towns along the coast. Things close down at a certain time. Usually, on a Friday night there would be a bit more going on, but not with a fire raging just a couple of miles away. So the streets were eerily quiet. And combining that with the fog? Oh yeah. Night photography is a whole other world.

Lights along Cabrillo

Bottom of State Street

Stearn's Wharf

Heading home, I stopped in Summerland.

Finally, almost home. There was just something about this.

Fire time again

2009-05-06T13:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, a new fire broke out in the hills.

This is what it looks like from downtown.

It looks really close, doesn't it??

People living up in the hills had to evacuate.

As I tried to make my way up towards another campus at school, this guy was standing at the corner. With evacuations in place and some roads blocked, I ended up going around this block a few time. I think the third time around he finally decided to cross the street.

Ah, here it. The sun is getting covered.

One last shot from the campus.

This fire started yesterday, when I took these shots from my cell phone. Of course, today I can't stop sneezing and my eyes, well, forget about it. I just hope that the winds stay calm and that they can stop this one before it gets to peoples' homes.

Last and best break week

2009-04-29T11:19:00.000-04:00

Hoping not to jinx myself, this break week finds me healthy and almost more busy than during the past few weeks of class-the main difference being that when I get home, I don't have to think about my assignments and what I still need to get done or prepare for a shoot. It feels almost like a trap, my mind disbelieving the free time.

The rest of the week will continue to keep me busy as I work nearly full time at my internship (despite an underlying desire to play hooky, go to the pool and nap.)

Mid-week already. Amazing.

Dropped by school today to check out a few things and officially let work know I won't be back. I haven't been in to work but maybe once in the past month with other obligations taking precedence-classes and this internship. This next session, my last, will be filled with class, the internship and looking for work for when I graduate. As my (ex)boss put it, "Your time is probably worth more now than the $8/hr that we pay!" Yes, I'd like to look for something with potential beyond graduation!

In the meantime, I still have a few days of break to enjoy.

Flashback!!

2009-04-24T02:28:00.000-04:00

No matter what, whenever I hear this song, it makes me smile and makes me want to dance! Enjoy.

Today

2009-04-22T11:17:00.000-04:00

Flabbergasted (but in a good way)

2009-04-18T13:20:00.000-04:00

As much as I complain about drivers on the road, yesterday I had the bewildering pleasure of being treated nicely!! You see, I was trying to merge and my little car was not in the mood to hurry yesterday (0-60 in maybe a minute or two) In the rearview, I saw a big Mack truck coming up and coming fast. Oh, crap. Come on, car!! Come ON!!! (Especially as I have had them purposefully speed up in the past to not let me in!!)

And in the rearview, I see Mr. BigMack kindly pulling over to the next lane to give me time to catch up to speed without his having to slam his own brakes or run me down.

Thank you Mr. Big Mack, whoever and wherever you are!!

a walk through some cell phone photos

2009-04-11T18:00:00.000-04:00

Back in 2007, sepia rain in Florida

About a minute later...non sepia

At the doctor's, this guy's ready to make a run for it. hehe (FL)

When you're tired, why not go to a store selling futons and take a little nap outside? (2007 Goleta, CA)

2008 Los Angeles, Dio de los Muertos

Ditto

Home for Christmas-2008. 2 hr ride till I get home.

And I'm not the only one...

2009-Ah, yep, back in LAX

Ooooh, pretty!! Rainbow!

Last weekend at a Greek restaurant down in Ventura-this guy did a whole dance with that glass of wine on his head.

Same restaurant, one of the belly dancers as she twirls

Attempt #5,293

2009-03-29T17:18:00.000-04:00

OK, I'm at it again. After months and months of ignoring any form of exercise, I went down to the track today and started walking (for exercise) again. It occured to me what a lousy trick I've played on myself by letting myself get out of shape. Yes, a lousy trick because, in my mind, I am still thin. In my mind, I can still walk and walk without a problem. In fact, in my mind, I can still run!

Obviously, my mind has issues dealing with reality.

So, I'm at it again. It's crazy how much I felt it today. First, my feet started aching. I know part of the reason they hurt as much as they do is that they aren't used to carrying this weight around so I kept going! Then, at about the third lap, I could feel it in my legs-the hamstrings! They're tight little suckers. Then my hips. When you sit or stand around as much as I do, those hip flexors also get tight. Once you start walking, trying to loosen them up, oh, you feel it. After I was done, I stretched out and oh, it felt good!! I think stretching after working out has always been one of my favorite things.

I only have three months left till I graduate, and I'd like to be able to walk my 3 miles a day or even possibly even run by then without any pain. I just have to make myself go every day.

2009-03-28T17:42:00.000-04:00

Common Dolphin in the Santa Barbara Harbor, CA.

classic moments

2009-03-21T02:26:00.001-04:00

Thursday, sitting in class, a student wanders in late, looking for a place to sit. We all sort of stare at him for a few seconds, no one recognizing him.

Finally, someone says, "Are you sure you're in the right class?"

He looks around confused, "Isn't this 314?"

"No, this is 415."

"I thought 314 was in here on Tuesdays."

"It's Thursday."

"Really? Today's Thursday?"

"Uh, yeah..." several people answer.

As he heads out the door, the teacher says, "Back to the bar."

continuation...

2009-03-18T10:44:00.001-04:00

They must've read my mind.....

2009-03-16T12:07:00.001-04:00

Monday. Again.

Funny how it happens every week, yet I still have a hard time dealing with it. After about 6 months of afternoon and evening classes, I'm back on a morning schedule. Groggy, grumbling, grumpy-yeah, those are apt descriptions of my morning state.

Then my roommate comes out of her room, "Good morning. How are you this morning?" This forced morning chit-chat makes me want to choke her. Why can't she just shut up and let me be, especially in the morning?? Don't make me talk. I need time for this sleep-addled brain to start functioning properly. Being civil does not enter into my sphere of consciousness for at least an hour. Despite my dirty looks when she does this, she persists. sigh. 3 months to go.

sun

2009-03-11T14:09:00.000-04:00

With daylight savings time going into effect, I can leave work and still have hours of sunlight. Just that little thing brings me joy. Winter is my least favorite time of year-the cold, the dark, ugh-it just feels like a weight bearing down on me and I don't like it. So each year, as the days get longer and the weather starts to get a bit warmer, I always feel happier. Of course, not everyone feels like this. Talking with a classmate yesterday, we talked about what our plans are when we finish. She's also from the east coast (NorthEast) and I asked her if she'll go back.

"Yeah, probably. Either that or head north, somewhere colder."

"Colder? This place is already too cold for me!"

"Cold?? This isn't cold. I miss 28 degree weather."

"I miss 80 degree weather."

And I think we both sighed a bit. Spring and summer are definitely my favorite times of year, even though I will admit that spring is pretty much non-existent in south florida. But I remember in Baltimore, the springtime-everything would bloom and everywhere you went, flowers popping out of trees, out of the ground, everything celebrating the longer days!! It was beautiful. You don't get quite the same effect here, but we also don't get snow and bitter cold winters. It's a trade-off I can easily live with.

Just give me sunlight.

Break Week

2009-03-06T13:47:00.000-05:00

I just love break week. Love it. The possibilities are endless!!

I could sleep in!

I could take a road trip!!

I could go camping!

I could actually spend some quality time with friends!

So....what did I do??

I spent most of it in bed coughing and hacking like a sick dog. OH the joy. It hit me Sunday and by Wednesday, with my body aching from coughing so much, I dragged my sorry butt to the doctor and he kindly informed, "well, it's not pneumonia."

Who the hell even mentioned pneumonia?? Not me, that's for sure. I clearly put on the sign-in sheet that I think I have bronchitis. Bronchitis....not pneumonia. See? they're even spelled differently! It's almost like going in for a bad headache and the first thing he says, "well, it's not a brain tumor."

Anyways, I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on him because after that he did tell me I have "bronchial irritation," and wrote me out a lovely prescription for pills that made me nauseous on top of my hacking cough. Ah, good times, I tell you!

At least now, I'm feeling better. I can actually manage to stay awake for most of the day and while I am still coughing, it no longer feels like my body is being ripped apart by it. I'd call that progress.

And all of this just in time to get back to classes next week.

2009-02-27T10:58:00.001-05:00

Hurray!! I'm done with another session!!

Thanks Willow...

2009-02-11T03:06:00.000-05:00

There are a few bloggers that I've "known" since I started this thing. One is Willow, who likes to dress his pets in drag on occasion, at least when he's not rushing them to the vet's yet again.
Every once in a while, he even blogs. I usually ignore all the flim-flammy stuff on sidebars (nevermind that I have some, I ignore mine just the same!) but today one on Willow's caught my eye.
I clicked. I read. I concurred. And I've added it to my sidebar as well (feel free to ignore it. That's what it's there for!)

Blooms

2009-02-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

Taken last week on my way back to work-Garden Street, Santa Barbara, CA.

little of this and that

2009-02-04T02:20:00.000-05:00

This session is nearly 1/2 over and I've been madly busy. Monday through Fridays are filled with classes and work. Weekends are spent shooting. The past couple of weeks, I've also assisted a photographer on his shoots, getting up at 5:30 to get down to LA on time. This weekend, it caught up. On Saturday's shoot, I couldn't understand why I was so sore and tired. By Sunday, I was a mess. My whole body ached and I said hell to everything else and slept all day.

Monday I assisted again-but this time we went down to San Diego!! San Diego! Finally!! Now I know what people mean about Southern Cali! It was beautiful! It was so worth going down there even though I could have used another day of sleep. Today I'm still congested and honking my nose off but I still smile when I think of SD!

So, some randomries that I can actually remember in my brain-addled state...

--at the bank...one of the tellers, I used to wonder what on earth could cause someone so young to look so perplexed all the time. He was always furrowing his brow and frowning as he worked. Mystery solved. He finally got glasses and now doesn't squint and frown anymore. Aha!

--I actually saw a guy-WAIT!! IF YOU'RE EASILY GROSSED OUT-DONT READ THIS ONE!-pick his ear and then munch on it. Yeah, people watching in traffic is great.

--This weekend, I noticed everything was blooming. Today (now that I'm over the worst of this damned cold), I appreciated it. The sun was out, it was warm and life was good. By this weekend, it'll be raining and cold again, but at least for now, it's amazing. Along with this...I realized that I need to start taking some more local pics...so look for that to come soon.

But for now, I'm going to sleep.

lala land

2009-01-28T02:31:00.000-05:00

So, I went down to LaLa land yesterday. As usual, it confounds me. Each time I head down there it seems different than the last time. One thing that doesn't change is the traffic (it generally sucks.) I went down for an assisting gig, leaving the house before 7am to get down at 9am. Yes, two hours for 80 miles. Hell, I shouldn't complain. Getting from the DC beltway to Baltimore at rush house would generally take more than that-and it was nearly 1/2 the distance. Yes, I just love sitting in the car in traffic. It brings me joy. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, one day I'll believe it.

At least, I'm starting to become a little bit more familiar with certain streets/exits now that I've been down there a few times. It helps because then I know what to look for. But the one thing that drives me batty is how well they mark the freeway entrances. This is where comparison is a must:

Florida: They announce the highway with a sign that stretches nearly across the whole road. It's announced ahead of time. The writing is big. It's bold! It's got arrows! (It has to with the 90% geriatric population!!)

Los Angeles: They try to trick you. The entrance to the freeway (and I have no freakin' idea why it's called a highway in Florida and a freeway in CA.) The sign is posted as large as a neighborhood street sign. (that would be not very big at all!) Many times, you only see it as you're passing it, going "oh, there was the freeway entrance! $%##@!" I can just imagine the city developers laughing.

The first time I came out here, I missed the entrance to the 405 not once, not twice, but a good three times! Bastards. Because it wasn't like, oh, you missed it-just turn around and it will be there. Oh, no. That would be too easy. It's more like, "oh you missed it? You need to get on the 405 north? Well you can't get there going in this direction-only the opposite. If you're going in this direction, we're going to send you down this street, then have you turn left with no turning signal at rush hour, then back down this other road, and that little teeny road that looks like an alleyway? Yeah? Well, that's the entrance. We'll give you warning by putting up a street sign on the other side of it."

So, although I'm at least a bit more aware of the road system here, it just means I make a lot of hard turns to get on the highway. Of course, that's when I'm going the right way! Yesterday I took the wrong direction both going and leaving! Yes, I'm good. At least I'm consistent. Stick with me, I'll get you lost! It's almost a given. The good news is that I will eventually find my way. I don't know how. I don't ask. I just go along with it.

2009-01-16T01:05:00.001-05:00

Well...I've gotten through my first week of classes (almost...one more class manana and then I'll be done with the first week) and uh, yeah, well, I'm tired already. Some of that has to do with weird scheduling at work (which we have resolved); the rest has had to do with going going going all day. And I have 7 weeks to go! Weee!!! Oh, this is going to be intense.

Now, although I have a thing against resolutions, as I was going home in December, the sleep deprivation made everything move in

s l o w

m o t i o n

and it made me say to myself, "Hey, this could be a good thing for you! Slow down a bit. When things are going crazy around you, slow down a bit and things will calm down!" (and of course, people thought what is that crazy lady doing talking to herself!! hahaha) But really, what an idea! I can choose to do some things and not do others, slow down and enjoy my time! Well, this session is going to test me, especially as I have always tended to be a procrastinator and then stress at the last minute trying to get everything done.

The whole concept is sort of weird because I realize it's not really as much about slowing down as it is about being there, doing what I'm doing without my thoughts racing off to "ooh, I need to do this too! And that! And later I have to ______!" And sometimes it's just about setting boundaries as in, "do I really need to do this? No? Ok." I won't do it and I won't worry about not having done it. I guess some people would call that setting boundaries and priorities.

Cell phones are an issue there...but more on that later! Good night.

Back

2009-01-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back in Cali. It was a rough trip back (ok, not really, but a few scary moments like thinking I would miss my flight. Would that have been so bad? No, not really! hehe..one more night in FL!!) The rough part was staggering back to my apt. at 1:30am, jet lagged and waking at 7:30am (that was after getting under three blankets and not being able to sleep because I was shivering...brrrr...until I broke out the flannel and then I was toasty cozy and finally able to sleep.)

Before coming back, I'd decided to finally get myself another bed. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor is ok for a temporary bit, but anything longer than that and it gets old. Fast. So, this weekend, I got up and headed straight to Ikea and got myself the least expensive frame I could and then spent the rest of the day putting it together. It was a challenge. Yessiree...my poor delicate fingers are still sore from that damned allen wrench! But if you think about it, it's quite amazing, non? You can put a bed together with just a screwdriver and an allen wrench! I imagine going to build houses now...just give me a hammer along with the screwdriver and allen wrench and watch out!! (yes, I do mean that literally, WATCH OUT!! hahah..)

Oh, and another thing! Since coming back to California, I've started sneezing my head off again. It actually started in LAX and since then, every day, the same damned thing. ACHOOOOOO! ACHOOOOO!! I think it's got something to do with the combination of cooler temps and low humidity. I don't know for sure, but when it's hot, I don't sneeze as much. When it's warm and humid, I'm happy as a clam (which makes me question, how do we know clams are happy? Are they really? Maybe they're just pretending? They certainly can't be happy when a seagull gets to them, can they? or when we throw them in a pot of boiling water? nooo...maybe that isn't a good analogy after all. Ok....so I'm not happy as a clam, now that we've established that's a false analogy, but I'm certainly happy in warm humid weather. Happy as a pig in mud. Now that's happy!)

So it's almost time to get back to classes. I will probably be kicking myself for this later, but along with my main photo class, I'll be taking two other courses and trying to audit a second photo class while also working part time. I think by the end of this session, I'll be a bit grumpy. Call it a hunch! hehe. I know that if I can get myself organized and sticking to a schedule, it won't be as bad as it sounds but it will take a bit of self-discipline. Sigh. I will have to actually schedule things. Oh, la tortura! But it will be worth it. The whole plan here is to get these out of the way so I won't have to take these classes later (when I'm closer to graduating!)

For this Monday morning, I'm C. and this is my blog.

2009-01-05T22:07:00.000-05:00

I blinked and the first ten days had passed. A breath and it's almost time to go back to Cali.

Walking to the jetty tonight, I watched the stars and the moon shining down on the water. It occurs to me that for so long I tried to get away and now I just want to come back. Isn't that the way it always is?? I wonder.

Anyways, in a couple of days, I'll be back in Cali, freezing my ass off, and counting down.

Six months to go.

Happy 2009 to Everyone!!

2009-01-01T09:34:00.000-05:00

Crunch time again...

2008-12-15T15:57:00.000-05:00

Ok...so, the past days, I've been up till all hours and getting up early trying to get everything done. And I'm still working on it. Today is my deadline...I leave tomorrow morning for FL. Sooooo....

with that, I'll see you guys in a couple of days when I'm back home relaxing!

snippets

2008-12-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

-I have 5 days till all my assignments and a portfolio are due. I have a list and checking things off as I go. I'm slightly stressed. I still have a lot to do!

-Crossing streets. Here in CA, pedestrians have the right of way (yeah, I know it's supposed to be that way most places but here people actually do stop!) However, it irritates the hell out of me when some woman meanders across because she's talking on her cell phone. Maybe it's just me, but if someone is waiting for me to get across, I try to repay their courtesy by being quick about it.

-My calendar still says November. I suppose I could change it. (ok, done. my calender is now on Dec.) It still doesn't feel like Christmas. I haven't seen very many decorations and the ones I do see seem almost out of place. Weird. Could it be because of this economy? I don't know. I fly home in 6 days. I'm looking forward to seeing the decorated palm trees.

-I'm really enjoying these classes even though I've been slacking a bit this session (hence, point 1, but I'm not pulling my hair out as many of the assignments are pretty quick and easy to do. Probably one of the reasons I've been putting it off.)

whoa!- slight ramble

2008-12-05T12:10:00.000-05:00

For the past two and a half years, I've been going along, taking my classes, blah blah blah. This week, I got the notice that I get to register early since I graduate next year. I thought about it and holy shit! I graduate in 6 months!! I have 3 classes left. 3!! That's it!! I only have three core classes left! WHOA! It seemed like so far away and now, now, it's almost here!!

Of course, other people have a better sense of time than I do and they've been asking me, "so what are you going to do when you get out?" (have you ever noticed how that sounds so much like a prison sentence??) And you know what? I have no idea!! I don't! I just started taking my industrial classes (which kick ass btw) but I haven't done enough to really qualify me for anything yet.

Oh, next year that won't be a problem, but wow! I'll be finishing!! Seriously finishing up. I can't believe it! It still seems like so far away...I mean, we're going into 2009. 2009. How odd does that sound? Oh, I know, it's what comes after 2008. And after it will come 2010. Yes, I know. But it just sounds like it's so far away because that's the mindset I had when I came here. ooh, 2009...that's so far away...and now, now....voila! It's almost here. And I only have three classes left. How crazy is that?

mornings

2008-12-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

from here

This could be the reason. Yep. Must be. Even if I'm not travelling, my body thinks it is. Apparently, my body seems to think it is in Hawaii and drifting westerly. Soon I'll be in the East! Yep. It must be why getting up every morning seems like climbing Mt. Everest (and I get winded just going up a flight of stairs!)

A few days ago, I decided to start getting up earlier. I set my alarm, and ....? The power flaked. My clock radio reset itself to 12:00 and shut the alarm. Thwarted! So, I tried again. And wouldn't you know? This morning I actually woke before the alarm??? Yeah!

I used to be able to do this-tell myself I needed to get up at a certain time and I would just *poof* wake up. No alarm, nothing. So, this morning I was already awake when the alarm went off. I have to say though...hearing Bob Marley first thing in the morning is a nice touch.

the day after...

2008-11-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

yyaaarrrrrrrwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn....

Good morning. It's 11 and I'm still in my pj's. LIfe is good. Earlier, one eye cracked open to look at the time-8am. I promptly shut my eye again and rolled over, back to snoozeland.

Yeah, it's black friday. My roommates asked me yesterday if I was going to go shopping today.

"Hell NO!" my none-too-subtle reply.

For one thing,I have no desire to go and fight crowds. I hate it. Hate. it. And for what? To go and spend money on crap that, most likely, people can do without? Because, let's face it...if it were something you really needed, don't you think you would have already gone out and bought it? Yeah. Thought so.

I've had some people try and argue with me..."but it's for Christmas! I get my Christmas shopping all done the day after Thanksgiving." Yay. Good for you. Me? I'd rather sleep and enjoy my morning. But if it makes you feel good to wake up at 3 a.m to go shopping, by all means, knock yourself out.

And I'll be honest? I might go shopping. Might. But it won't be until 3-4pm. When everyone else is home exhausted. And the stores are practically empty. I can deal with that much better.

Thanks...

2008-11-27T12:14:00.000-05:00

May you have a great day today-wherever you are, whatever you do! Here's a little turkey day humor for you.

sometimes I wonder....

2008-11-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

I saw her outside the office, holding her paper and looking around for the right door. At first, I couldn't tell whether it was a boy or girl. Jeans hanging loosely on a stick-like figure, short brown hair and a loose tee-shirt disguising any hints of femininity. The scraggly girl shuffled in. She held out her paper to me, mumbling, looking lost and I had the answer apparently. She spoke. Her voice barely above a whisper, I couldn't understand her. Seeing her paper, I sent her to someone to help her. As she shuffled to his desk, I noticed her arm-not quite bony yet, but close.

couple of things...

2008-11-18T13:20:00.000-05:00

--This morning I'm enjoying my solitude-the whir of the washing machine, the crunch of my toast, and my coffee. The cat, happily fed, sleeps on my bed and the roommates are all off to class.

Mornings like this, I relish. They don't come easily with three roommates. Sometimes, I think I'm clear-that I'm about to enjoy some quiet solitude and inevitably, someone comes home to break the silence.

Living with three other people is definitely an adjustment. I found myself daydreaming of living by myself again the other day. We're like a little family and that is probably why it drives me nuts at times. I need my quiet and I need my space. It's hard to come by around here at times.

--The fires here are mostly contained now even though, Saturday I saw four fire engines racing south, lights blazing, on the 101, and I knew they must be headed to more fires. Sure enough, a few fires were destroying more people's houses down in LA. I read that the fire season is now considered year round and that California has had more than 9000 fires this year (read story.) The fact that it's been beautiful and sunny doesn't bode well for next year. Unless we get some serious rain over the next few months, next year will be even worse.

--Chatting with the roommate, we marveled how we know what's good for us and what we need to do for our health, and yet we still don't do it. With that in mind, I took the bike out for a ride yesterday and then went for a walk along the beach. I like this new beach we live close to. It's relatively quiet (even though I don't know about the weekends.) I used to see it driving by to go to my old place. It was never superpacked like the other beaches-with people practically lying on top of each other like seals packed on a beach. Little side note....have you ever gone to the beach and it's practically empty? So you find your little space, settle down in contentment and then, someone (single person, family, couple....doesn't matter) comes and lays not five feet from you?? WHY? This drives me bat-shit nuts. I've had it happen quite a few times-both here and in Florida. I don't get it. Why would you choose to go and set your stuff right next to someone else when you have the whole beach available to you! The other day at Target, I had some fun with a burp and fart machine (hehehe)....I should buy that for these times. When someone parks right next to me on a mostly empty beach, I need to start setting that thing off. I wonder if they'd move?

2008-11-13T22:48:00.000-05:00

Another good reason to leave once I'm done?

Fire.

A fire started less than 10 miles from where I live tonight. It's grown rapidly-they have a code red alert until tomorrow morning. The news explained that means danger of explosive fire. Westmont College is on fire. Power lines are burnt and Santa Barbara is mostly without power.

Not helping the situation: the Santa Ana winds with wind gusts of up to 70mph. Watching the news guy, when the wind gusts it looks like I'm watching hurricane coverage. I don't like this. Nope. Not one bit. The good news is that it seems that most everyone has evacuated (even though homes have burnt.)

I'd like to think that the fire is not coming this way. I'd like to think. But still, I don't like it. And next year, I'll be somewhere else.

UPDATE....

wow...houses have been destroyed and loads of people evacuated. One of my friends is staying here for now. After being evacuated, she went into Santa Barbara and watched the fire burn closer to her home. We're waiting for another friend to arrive after she was told she needed to evacuate as well. I hope this fire stops soon.

Notes on Infrared

2008-11-11T23:45:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad I never got rid of my first digital SLR camera, the D70. While it may be only 6megapixels, it is better suited for the things I'm doing in class right now (infrared) than my newer camera.

The last time I shot infrared was on film back in the 90s. Now, I'm trying to shoot infrared (IR) with a digital camera, but did you know that most digital cameras have a special IR blocker built in? Yeah, makes things tricky, doesn't it?? So, you end up with a few options...

1. Have the blocker taken out...but then you won't be able to take normal pictures on that camera. In effect, you'd have a camera sensitive to both UV and IR light.

2. Use filters that block out regular light. And you know what?? You can't see through them!! So you better focus before you put that filter on. And get ready for much longer exposures.

So, why is my old camera better?? Well, newer cameras have bigger and better UV and IR blockers। So that means that you need much longer exposures to get anything to show up। So my trusy old D70, the same one that I used on my little cross country trip comes in handy once again. I'm still getting a hang of how to get some decent looking IR shots, here is one of my first attempts..aloe in infrared.

Friday....

2008-11-07T14:21:00.000-05:00

Nothing like bunny slippers!!!

smiling

2008-11-05T20:36:00.000-05:00

As seems to be my norm, I got to class late today, sliding into the first seat I saw as the teacher was handing out the first set of today's handouts. As I looked around to see who else was in the class, I was happy to see many people I knew. I didn't expect that, and I'm glad.

We received a series of assignments, most of which were about infrared. yay. This is going to be learning by playing, my favorite! Other things we'll be covering? Ultraviolet, fluorescent dyes and tracers, moonlight photography and star trails, and microscopic and polarizing filters. All of this in a short seven weeks. Even though we've only had one class, I have a feeling that this class will only give me a taste of the possibilities and that I could continue playing with this type of photography for a while.

So, for now, I'm going to try and catch up a bit and do some reading and studying (omigod, I actually want to learn this stuff!! hehehehehe!!) And later, I'll give myself a nice break by watching one of the tv shows I really enjoy, if for nothing else but the amusement factor!!

2008-11-05T01:03:00.000-05:00

It is done.

I'm glad. Relieved. Hopeful. Awed.

I mean, history, people. We're part of it. How amazing is that?

PS...I have to quote CEO "both men were exceptional". Thanks.

countdown

2008-10-29T16:27:00.000-04:00

With less than a week until the big day here in the good ol' U.S. of A.

I just called to re-request my absentee ballot. My mom had forwarded the original-to the wrong(old) address. When I told her I had not received it, she said, "but I mailed it ages ago."

Yeah, and it's probably sitting in a huge pile of unforwardable mail at the post office.

Over the weekend, I submitted an online request for another, but not wanting to take a chance, I called today to make sure it had been sent. I think the phone rang about 50 times before anyone answered. Then, she transferred me and I think the phone rang at least 100 times before anyone answered. And then, I was transferred again! Luckily, this time someone picked up within a couple of rings!

She looked up my information and said, "we already sent one out to your home."

I had to explain how then my mom sent it to my old address and I never got it.

"You're cutting it awfully close, you know?"

"yes, I know."

"you'll probably have to overnight it back."

"Yes, that's what I plan on doing."

"SSSSIIIIGH. I'll send you a duplicate."

"Thank you. I'd like that."

So, despite what my mom said about a certain person winning even if I don't vote, I'm still putting my two cents worth in, even if it means nothing. It'll make me feel better.

Follow Up

2008-10-24T00:37:00.001-04:00

Ah, well, first, I just had my last class of the session today! Yeehaaa!! Now I can get some sleep. I got to class today and everyone loved my hair! Funny little story though....

During one of the breaks, S. was commenting about how much she liked it and I mentioned about it being pink.

She looked at my hair very thoughtfully, and said,

"No, it's not pink. It's more purpley..."

Ah, life is funny.

don't trust the box

2008-10-22T00:09:00.001-04:00

yeah....

so...

my hair...

it's supposed to be auburn, which I always thought of as red-warm red.

It's not.

It's pink-red. Magenta red. Cool red.

This is not what the box said/showed.

I've been told that it will fade to the color I want, but uh...what the hell??? I don't want to color my hair and have it be a different color than what it's supposed to be! Is that a difficult concept? I don't think so. Hey, the box says red and shows you a picture; that's the color it should be. But noooooo...I want auburn, I get pink red. great. We'll see. It's not like I can do much about it right now. Sigh.

I supposed I should be glad it's not purple.

2008-10-19T03:53:00.000-04:00

So, nearly three weeks later and we've finally got our 4th roommate and internet! The only problem is that I don't really feel like blogging about anything. oh well. Later.

Internet access....and pics

2008-10-09T14:07:00.003-04:00

Sunflowers inside...sunny outside

From the dining room to the patio

Out on the patio, we have these lovely little flowers

a closer look...

And finally, el gato making herself at home on top of the shelf

ground control to major blog

2008-10-09T00:21:00.000-04:00

Ground Control to Major Blog
Can you hear me, Major Blog?
Can you hear....

(got a faint signal, not enough to post any pics. It'll have to wait for another time)

2008-10-03T14:25:00.000-04:00

Ah, so...the first night in the new place with kitty was rough. All those strange noises and sights were a bit much for her and she kept meowing and growling and snarling. The best bit was when she wanted on the window sill-waking me up for it-so I opened the blinds enough for her to jump up-and she started growling and snarling and then...MREOOOOWSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Apparently, the neighbors were walking their dog in the middle of the night! haha.

Since then, however, progress. As she realizes that she is, in fact, safe, she's making herself at home. I come home to find her stretched out on my bed, barely lifting her head as if to say, "oh, you? Ya, ok. Streeeeeetch...." Last night, she climbed up on her cat tree and then jumped up to the top of the shelf, lounging near my old cameras. I got some nice pics of it, but I still have to load them.

So, life is moving along quite nicely. We don't have internet service at the new place yet-so, until we do, my internet time will be greatly cut down.

Tip of the day

2008-10-01T14:31:00.000-04:00

You don't want to find you've run out of toilet paper after it's gone.

poor gato

2008-09-30T21:26:00.000-04:00

I took her to the new place today. She was a bit nervous and then, as soon as she heard the upstairs neighbors, she bolted and has been hiding under my roommate's bed. Ah well...she'll get used to it. As long as she has a place she can hide and feel safe.

Conundrum

2008-09-26T10:13:00.001-04:00

Love early morning...

hate waking early.

(and staying up all night is a non-option unless I want to hallucinate instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing.)

morning

2008-09-24T10:58:00.000-04:00

Early mornings...I sit here at the computer with my cup of coffee ready nearby. Occasionally I look around the half empty apartment, thinking how much more I need to do and then console myself that much of what I do see is either garbage or headed to the donation center.

The cat, having eaten, sits nearby, keeping me in sight. She comes by to rub against me before going to explore the now-empty space where the table used to be. I think she's wondering what's going on, but as long as I'm here, she's ok. She turns and goes back to the bedroom.

Outside, the gray mist holds motion prisoner, muffling even the budding sounds of traffic.

flashes...

2008-09-23T03:32:00.000-04:00

So far so good...hahah...I've started looking at what brings people to my blog and some of them are downright amusing to moi...here are some of them...

get up Claudia- yeah, I've heard that a lot in my time...especially high school when my mom would have to wake me up...

what to give a boy with two broken arms- two casts for starters. Maybe some ice cream-even though you'll probably have to feed it to him. Good luck!!

Claudia More- someone really wants more of this?? Oh, that's a good one!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated video.- Are you kidding me? Someone actually typed all that out??

How to make your hair look like it just got out of the shower- yes, I usually send my hair to shower, but I hate when it fools into thinking it just got out of the shower but didn't!! (oh, and the first thing might be-get it wet? ya think??)

movie line "Here's a good stick...to beat the lovely lady"-- WHAAAAAT???

And my favorite so far:

Did they have studded belts in the 80s!!

Bwahahahahahah!!! Oh, did they ever have studded belts in the 80s!! But not only that, you had to wear them doubled...two belts! Actually it was one belt long enough to go around your body twice-and they had to be loose-None of this actually fit-around-your-hips crap! Oh, nooooo...Oh, and yes, the 80s also had leggings!! And big hair! And bold prints on your shirts, not to mention flourescent/neon colors and off the shoulder shirts! But they had to be torn shirts- which we wore with the big hair, and bright makeup, and studded belts. And then there were the leg warmers. And bandanas and head bands. And jellies. And skinny jeans. Acid wash skinny jeans. And jean jackets! If you could have a studded jean jacket, ooh, you were way cool! How about them shoulder pads?? And the little rubber bracelets. And lace gloves with the bracelets (thanks a lot, Madonna!!) Not to forget the parachute pants, either. And poofy skirts! And we rolled up our jacket sleeves and wore the collar up, thank you very much! Spiral perms, anyone?? Or how about the rat-tail!! And checkered Vans. And Converse (preferable high-tops!) And you know? We did think it looked good at the time!

hahaha...I realize I have fond memories of all this crap even as I cringe at having gone through it.

p.s...I recently saw an ad for shirts that change color with body heat. guess what? Yeah, we had those in the 80s.

2008-09-20T12:29:00.000-04:00

Recently, I've found myself feeling down-getting weepy at songs that might be playing or if I hear of someone going through a rough patch. First thing I thought when I realized this was, Hmmm, am I PMSing?? Nope. It's not that. So what the hell is it?

Partly, I realize it's the changing season. The light is different already-the sun further south in the sky. Each year it's the same-I feel myself withdrawing within as the days get shorter. But that's only part of it.

Thursday morning I took off for LA-driving down to go check out a photographer's studio. He'd come to speak to our class and offers his studio for rent, so I wanted to check it out.

Once down there, we talked a bit and he even asked,

"You came here just for this?"

I was honest-yes, I needed the drive-I needed to get out of here. It was nice to hear someone say,"yeah, I can understand that."

That night in class, we had another guest photographer come and talk to us. Once again, we got good advice-and it helped. He said that each of our roads will be different-that we might do a bit of this and a bit of that as we go along. It was good to hear that-because so often at school, we instead hear "so, what kind of photography do you want to do?" as if once you box yourself in, that's it. He also said to always have something personal going-"always have a personal project."

It's slowly coming together.

I have about ten months left. I know that once I'm done with this class, things will change. I'll have different classes-a different focus (haha, no pun!!)-and that, despite winter, I think I'll feel more optimistic. In the meantime, I'll be heading to LA a bit more often. Being here is a bit like being in a gilded cage-it's lovely, but it's also stifling.

Evil Green chili peppers

2008-09-17T10:39:00.000-04:00

Damn! My mouth hasn't burned like that in years!!

It all started out innocently enough- you know it always does. You make plans to go out to dinner with friends. Tonight it was Thai.

You order something you can't pronounce. Something along the lines of phong pong tong phint phat (not the right spelling btw). And the waiter asks how spicy you'd like that.

Forgetting that the Thai have an insane ability to eat things that would sear the flesh off of lesser beings, you say "medium," and continue with the evening.

Once the food arrives, you dig in...ooh, that's a spicy dish! But it's good. And even though your lips are tingling a little bit, you can still savor all the flavors from your dish.

And then, it happens. You accidentally bite into an innocent looking piece of green pepper, but don't let it fool you! That thing is bent on destruction! All of a sudden, the burning starts! Oh! Make it stop!!!

But it doesn't. Noooooo....it's only the beginning!! It feels like some little devil with a blowtorch is inside your mouth searing every piece of flesh it finds-including your throat. Quickly, you reach for the Thai tea and drink a bit.

Ahh...that's better...but only for a second.

The burning starts again after the coolness abates!! They say that milk/dairy helps calm the fire, but I think they lied. Because all you can do at this point is gasp and say, "owowowowowwoswowowow!!!!" You try some plain rice-hoping that it will absorb some of the burning. Nope. It doesn't. Apparently, nothing can save you now.

You now sit and wait. The tea is gone. You know water won't help at all. And the rice was just plain useless. The burning continues. You imagine layers of your mouth are being peeled away as the pepper does its job. You sit in pain, blinking, waiting for it to abate while everyone at the table looks at you, somewhat worried at the look of pain on your face.

Slowly, finally, it doesn't burn as much anymore. The fire dies down, leaving your mouth tender (you don't realize but it will still be a bit tender tomorrow as well...)

Once you can talk again, your friend at the other end of the table says, "Hey, can I try that?"

calm

2008-09-16T13:01:00.000-04:00

Last night, I actually managed to get to bed early. This doesn't happen often. Usually, even if I'm tired, I'll find something to do, almost as if there's some weird unwritten rule that says it's wrong to go to bed so early. It would be one thing if there was something I really needed to do-something that inspires me or something that somehow is beneficial.

But no. It's not. It's usually just a time-waster, like surfing the web, and ends up contributing nothing to my well-being. It's addictive too, like staying up to watch the home shopping network.

Is it something you need?

No.

Is it something you really love?

Probably not.

However, does it suck you in and you find yourself bleary-eyed hours later wondering how did it get so late?

Definitely.

So, last night I refused to give in. I got home, tired. It wasn't even 10pm. It didn't matter. I put on my PJ's and went to bed. Even though I wasn't ready to sleep quite yet, it was nice to read a bit and enjoy the quiet. It was almost meditative. I slept so well and woke up with a feeling of peace this morning.

I don't know why I don't do this more often.

some random things...

2008-09-10T12:04:00.000-04:00

This morning, I caught the end of an interview with the mayor as she was talking about creating more roundabouts through the city. She said how wonderful they are and how they help cut down emissions because as cars stop and then go, they emit more CO2. It all sounds great but apparently she hasn't gotten stuck behind these fools that treat it as a stop sign even when there are no other cars in the roundabout. Can we please teach those folks how to approach roundabouts and not treat them as stop signs, please??

Weird dreams...The past two nights I've had the strangest, intense dreams I've had in a while. TAKE ONE, (I blame Tom Robbins for this one) a guy makes off with a relic to keep it from being used for the wrong reasons. He swims away with it one night, his own black skin darker than the waters he's swimming in. He escapes to the northern cities, where nobody hears from him again-his life blending into a meaningless daily routine, just like the rest of us. TAKE TWO: The next dream (last night) I'm visiting friends, catching up and I happen to be staying atone's house while he's gone. At 4am, some of his relatives (who do not live there) show up, start banging around, turning on lights, making coffee and acting as if they have every right to be inconsiderate idiots and that I'm the one who is interrupting their routine. Why should they be quiet when someone else is sleeping at 4am? They just cannot understand why I'd be upset by this. I remember thinking it's not worth it to stay there and decide to leave.

It has occurred to me more than once how cars today look so much alike. Oh there are exceptions like the Smart Car or the Mini Cooper, but most modern cars just sort of blend together into one boring pile of crap. Same thing with car colors. This morning, I saw gray, dark gray, black, burgundy, silver. Oh, how exciting. I smile when I see an older model car that happens to be some crazy shade of oh, how about aqua. Or the older duo-toned cars. I don't know if this car conformity has to do with mileage or aerodynamics, but I couldn't help but wonder-what if we could run cars on some sort of plentiful natural resource (air, anyone?) and car designers could create interesting pieces. I must be dreaming again, but I couldn't help but wonder how cool it would be to have interesting vehicles on the road (I'll have to investigate this whole topic a bit more in-depth, I think.) In the meantime, I found this video...check it out....

2008-09-08T11:46:00.000-04:00

With the passing of Labor Day, it seems as if someone flicked the switch and it's now....fall/winter. Less than two weeks ago, I was waking to warm mornings, sun, and a certain commotion that comes with summer.

Since then, I've had to start using my blanket again at night. And this morning? I awoke to a hushed stillness and rain. Rain! A soft misty rain, that,even though it's close to 9am, seems to smother the air and drown out the noises of the day with a hush. Yes, summer is gasping its last. I don't know if it's because of the shorter days, the changing light or even that the mornings are chillier than they have been. All I know is that I can feel it.

Winter's coming.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-09-04T10:24:00.000-04:00

With the passing of Labor Day, it seems that the shift towards winter has begun. I sit here this morning, sipping my coffee, feeling the stillness of the cool morning air. The mist lingers, as do I although I should be on my way to work by now. I've been quiet here as well, enjoying my time off from school; as far as I'm concerned, naps are one of nature's greatest inventions.

As it goes, I've also had time to think about what I want to get out of this and I've made a couple of changes to my path. Although I've been seriously considering leaving, this change actually requires me to commit and stay here until I complete my degree. I've been more than a bit irritated with some changes to the curriculum that the school has made-not because of the changes themselves, but more because it would affect my ability to graduate on time.

So, I looked at my alternatives.

1. I could take the classes offered (even if they are not classes I would like to take) and get it over with.

2. I could take a session off and finish with the class I wanted after my scheduled grad date (but what about paying rent and living expenses? Would it be worth it for one class?)

3. I could contact the teacher and do independent study or intern for him (which I might still do it for the internship...)

4. I could take only the remaining classes I want to take and not get the degree.

5. Or I could change majors.
Not take the classes I don't want to take.
Take classes in which I'd actually learn something each session until I'm done (imagine that!!). Things that would actually expand my knowledge of photography!

The more I thought about switching majors, the better it felt. I already had planned on taking two of the four classes for it (one to fulfill a requirement and the other because I felt it was important.) I found the other two classes very interesting as well, but didn't have room in my curriculum to take them. Well, now that has changed. Switching my major to Industrial Photography, I'd get to take all 4 classes.

In case you're curious-the types of classes I'll be taking-dealing with things the eye misses. Check this site for a sample (and I recommend the MIT museum link as well, to find out about the guy that started it all.)

So, once again, I find myself excited about my education here. And while I do wish I could go home sooner rather than later, I feel good about the choice I've made.

BAH!!

2008-08-27T12:00:00.001-04:00

BAH!!!

That has been my catchphrase lately. I've moved beyond cussing, into just monosyllables to express my displeasure. This is probably one of my worse weeks (and sessions) I've had in a while. Everything is due and I am very much behind on things-not for lack of trying but this whole session has been like swimming upstream-if I relax one bit, I find myself going backward. It's exhausting really. The good thing, I just figured that even if I get pretty low grades on what I have left to turn in, I'll still pass.

I know that other people in the class feel the same as I do. There are a few students that have the right connections to create amazing photos. The rest of us are left feeling defeated and wondering if this is really worth it. I'm just glad the week is almost over. I realize that in a few years, this class may not matter at all, and (as long as I pass) that does console me a bit.

Ha...all I can say...Friday is going to be a massive celebration that it's over!

some days...

2008-08-20T01:46:00.000-04:00

impressions....

2008-08-15T03:49:00.000-04:00

First, this afternoon, I noticed the big black clouds hanging overhead and thought they looked like nice thunderstorm clouds. Sure enough, about 1/2 hour later, I hear the big fat drops of rain start falling outside. I quickly stripped out of my jeans and went and stood in the (very brief) rain shower. There's nothing quite like rain falling with the sun still shining.

Moving on. Apparently, my instincts about a certain person I've met in the past few months were on target. I don't want to get into too many details, but let's just say I've had the chance to hang out with this person and something just didn't strike me as genuine. I felt that there was more to this person than the somewhat forced cheeriness/friendliness. In fact, I felt that underneath that friendly (harmless) exterior was a rather conniving core. (Reminded me of an old roommie I once had that was oh so nice until we lived together...then the true colors showed...until she needed something from me again-then she was oh, so nice again. Thanks but no thanks.)

Anyways, this was my impression of this person, but I tried to talk myself out of it, until tonight. I hung out with someone else that was telling me of a horror story about a friend that totally used her and then, when she stood up for herself, this friend actually turned on her, saying what a lousy friend she is and pouring all sorts of insults. It was a wake-up call. I asked who this person is, and wouldn't you know it? None other than the person I had been trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Go figure. I don't know why I doubt my own instincts when they warn me about someone. For the most part, I like people I meet, but every once in a while, someone sets off some sort of internal alarm, and many times I don't even know what it is. But it's there. And really, when I ignore it, I usually end up regretting it.

The Desert

2008-08-12T02:45:00.000-04:00

Driving 5 hours to Las Vegas in the early August heat probably wasn't one of the better ideas I've had over the years, but it does account for my weekend. I had contacted my friend's little sis, M., who's been living there for the past few years, about doing a photo shoot with her and the lights of Vegas.

Driving out there, it amazed me that people would actually choose the desert as a place to settle (I'm talking the early settlers-before electricity and air conditioning.) I can't imagine what was going through their heads (I'm guessing that the sun had obviously fried that part of the brain responsible for better judgement- I can just imagine, "hmmm, over 100 degrees, it's hard to breath, there's hardly any vegetation, no water to be seen, but ooh, lots of sand and rock: Yep, good place to settle!")

M. doesn't live right in Vegas, so I got to see the more "normal" side of things there. While I didn't take very many pictures, a few thoughts did cross my mind (the first being about the settlers...) Some others...

1. The landscape looks alien. As I mentioned, there isn't much vegetation, but lots of rocks and sand. I imagine that the surface of Mars must look something like that. This is where I first wondered who the hell would choose to start a city/settlement out here in the first place.

2. I find it odd that with temps normally reaching in the triple digits in the summers, they don't have more shady areas created. In the shopping areas, the parking lots bake in the sun; there are no shaded walkways, no canopies, nothing. I don't expect trees as they would probably all die out there, but even something artificial to give people a break? Nope.

3. Vegas and the strip seem wholly unnatural to me. I understand that is the point-it was just weird to actually experience it. I felt like I was at Disney-with the crowds of people pushing and shoving their way around to get to the next "attraction." Only, unlike Disney, many were drunk and silly. It had its moments of amusement.

4. It was a bit overwhelming for me. I'm glad I was with people that knew how to get around because I felt totally lost walking around the strip and in and out of the casinos. Things look very much the same inside the casino. One hallway looks just like the other to a novice like me. One bridge is just the same as the other. I suppose being a bit dehydrated didn't help.

5. Despite the chaotic nature of it, I did find some things I loved-like the water fountain show at the Bellagio. Call me a sucker, but I love watching the water shoot and dance to music. Now, all they needed was some colored lights instead of the normal ones. I also loved the glass umbrella/flower ceiling inside the Bellagio-all the different colors creating a nice kaleidoscope on the ceiling. I'll probably post that picture later...

6. I really only spent about 1 1/2 day there, but that was enough for me to know that I could never live there. I can't handle that extreme heat (as much as I complain about it being cold here, I'd rather be a bit on the cool side than risk my brain melting in that heat...) And I need green in the landscape. The browns of the desert just don't do it for me.

Here are some pictures I did take...

Heading to the MGM, I passed New York. Pretty cool

Coming from the parking lot at the MGM...

This is a corridor at the MGM. It was more than a bit
freaky, as far as I'm concerned. Reminds me of the Shining.

As I started my drive back to CA, these houses blend
into the background. Kind of depressing, isn't it?

This was a lot of the scenery.

Out in the middle of nowhere....

The giants of the desert

Here, a view of the open road and a few other travellers.

thank you...

2008-08-05T15:37:00.000-04:00

I found this article and I have to agree. In fact, I agree so much that I'm posting it here. Thank you.

MAKE. IT. STOP

and now...for something different....

2008-08-04T09:07:00.000-04:00

I have this on my iTunes-it's from the FIFA 2002 World Cup...a redo from Aida

And as I looked it up, I found this on youtube. Beautiful music and a beautiful picture. If anyone knows where the picture comes from, please let me know.

...

2008-07-31T12:46:00.000-04:00

This session is driving me insane. I've tried to shoot three assignments and each time, something has gone wrong.

The first shoot, I couldn't get hair and makeup. Then all the files got corrupted in the download and I haven't been able to recover them.

Second shoot, I set up hair and makeup and the models never went. They said the hairdresser didn't have time, so the next day, I asked the hairdresser what happened? They never went!! While I got some cute shots, professional hair and makeup really makes a big difference.

Yesterday, I had another shoot and the model never showed up, never called. I had given her the studio time, what studio I'd be in, and I called her and called her before the shoot and just kept getting voice mail. Finally, I sent her a message online, and of course she didn't answer me until it was too late and my studio time was up.

Here's what she said:
"Ahh! I was waiting to hear from you to see what was going on ahh!!!! OH NO! I"M SORRY!"

I then asked if she'd be available at night since my assignment was due, and, oh, what a surprise, I never heard back.

So, now I'm trying to schedule other shoots and I'm already 3 assignments behind, and I just hope that this feeling of swimming against a rip current that wants to drag me down ends soon.

Whoa!!

2008-07-29T14:49:00.001-04:00

I just experienced my first earthquake!! Sitting here at work, all of a sudden, I feel kind of light-headed and then, it seems like the floor is moving. Hmm...occasionally, my body does that to me, but only for about a second (like getting up really fast). This instead continues, and I notice that things that aren't fixed down are swaying. Ok, now I know that's not just my head.
I ask my co-worker, "Was that an earthquake???"
CW (offhandedly): oh yeah, but that was nothing.
Me: That was my first earthquake!!
CW: Really? Wait till you get a rough one where everything shakes. You better hang on then.
Me: No, that's when I run outside and throw myself on the ground.
CW: well, just don't go under anything that can fall on you, like power lines.
Me: (silence)

So, there you go...two years and I have finally gone swimming in the ocean and experienced my first earthquake.

2 years later...

2008-07-26T17:43:00.000-04:00

And I have finally made it into the ocean here!! Yes, I went swimming today!! The water was cold, but not too terrible-especially once I got in and started swimming around. Actually it felt great-the salty water, the salty air, the waves! Ah! It makes the aggravations of the past week completely disappear. For now, I have to go, because even though I'd love to turn and head right back to the beach, I do have other things that need to be done (mind you not things I want to do-at least not right now- but things I have to do.) Tomorrow will be another busy day, but I think I'll have time for another quick jaunt to the beach and a swim!!